(This is a list of behaviors observed in people who possess this competence)

• They participate in extracurricular activities: cultural activities, volunteering, etc.

• They spend time with friends and know how to initiate conversations.

• They know how to start and maintain a conversation.

• They know how to communicate verbally and nonverbally.

• They are able to speak in public.

• They have an open attitude when it comes meeting and spending time with more people, and are not driven by prejudice.

• They can recognize others’ virtues: they listen to learn from them.

• They understand key relationships and relevant social domains both inside and outside of the university.

• They take an interest in others’ problems and seek to give them advice.

• They are able to handle conflicts that arise when the interests of different parties clash.

• They are able to establish emotional bonds with others.

• They spontaneously express their own feelings or ideas (affection, sadness, joy, etc.) in a way that others understand.

• They know how to get support from their contacts.

• They know how to ask for help when they need it.

• They know whom to turn to when they want to solve specific problems.

• They respect social norms.

Behaviors in the assessment questionnaire

• They recognize others’ virtues. They seek to learn from others by listening to them.

• They spend time with friends and know how to start conversations with them.

• They participate in extracurricular activities: cultural activities, volunteering, etc.

• They have an open attitude and are not driven by prejudice. They are proactive when it comes to meeting and spending time with more people.

(This is a list of negative behaviors observed in people who do not possess this competence to a sufficient extent)

• They are incapable of adapting to situations with strangers.

• They turn down activities involving other people.

• They are shy and do not participate in conversations. They avoid crowded environments. They prefer being alone than in company.

• They don’t think cultural activities, voluntary activities, etc., are rewarding.

• They have no interest in social events in the university setting. They don’t know which people, events or institutions are key to their activity.

• They don’t carry out activities with classmates outside of class hours.

• They are reserved and prejudiced; they don’t want to extend their group of friends. They put labels on other people and social groups.

• They focus only on their own problems.

• They are passive and slow, don’t initiate social relationships and tend to respond negatively when someone approaches them.

• They don’t know how to give constructive criticism.

• They lose focus during conversations.

• They don’t take advantage of key contacts to solve their personal or professional needs.

• They don’t know how to ask for help when they need it.

• They reject opinions that differ from their own.

• They lack the ability to value others’ ideas.

(Suggestions for questions that mentors can ask students to reflect on and, therefore, propose ways they think they can improve)

• Do you think you have a good relationship with your university community: classmates, teachers, etc.?

• Do you think you could contribute more to conversations with the people around you?

• Do you feel out of place in conversations with your colleagues?

• Are you afraid of making a mistake when contributing to a conversation and do you prefer not to express your opinion so as not to feel belittled?

• Are you comfortable around strangers?

• Do you get involved in the activities offered by the School?

• Do you frequently attend formal or informal events related to the university or social environment or do you try to get out of them by making up excuses?

• Do you schedule time (explicitly or otherwise) to chat informally with work or university colleagues?

• Do you try to spend more time with your colleagues outside class time and working hours so that you can chat about other topics?

• Are there people who regularly turn to you to discuss personal and/or professional matters informally?

• Do you try to listen to the problems of your personal and/or academic colleagues and put yourself in their shoes or do you try to avoid these situations?

• Does your input change depending on the people you are with?

• Do you know whose opinion to seek when you have a difficult decision to make?

• What do you get out of meeting and interacting with different people?

• Do you have conversation starters ready to use with people you have just met?

• Stagnant water rots, so it’s important to keep friendships fresh and make sure groups are not airtight. As a general rule, getting to know more people requires initiative. A simple exercise is to take advantage of mid-morning and lunch breaks to leave your comfort zone and talk to groups other than your usual crowd.

• Try to meet someone new every week. In the classroom, try to sit in a different place every week and start conversations with your new neighbors.

• Resolve concerns in person with the teachers or staff at your School, since you can learn more from teacher-student relationships than from the writing on the whiteboard.

• When it comes to chatting, initiate interesting conversations about topics outside university life.

• To meet more people with interests similar to yours, try to attend events at the university that appeal to you. These could include talks, courses, sports competitions and clubs.

• If you’re aware of the different channels used to publicize these events, such as the newsletter and University Life, you’ll be able to find something that suits you more easily

• Write the events, the dates and the people who could go with you in a calendar or notes. That way you’ll meet more people and strengthen existing friendships.

• There are many reasons people might ask for your help: advice, a subject, an opinion about a job or an activity, etc.

• Listen carefully to what they say, don’t interrupt and then respond. Don’t be in a rush when you’re helping others...

• When giving advice, draw on your experience to figure out what the other person really wants to do. It’s not about offering optimal solutions, but rather providing reassurance and guidance to help the other person through a rough patch.

• Don’t be afraid or let pride get in the way when asking for help.

• Choose the people best placed to help you, depending on whether they are personal or professional contacts.

• Express yourself sincerely and openly, listen carefully to what you’re told and put their advice into practice.

• Enroll in cultural, social or educational activities where you have to collaborate with and help others. Sign up for at least one.

• Get to know other members, their likes and dislikes, the degree they’re studying, friends in common, etc. Help everyone get to know each other.

• To find out about the plans your classmates are making, you’ll first have to interact with them. Then you could go for a drink or meal together before a study session, for example.

• Try to find out what plans are being made so you can get involved and seize the opportunity to get to know your colleagues and friends better. Organize yourself so you can’t use lack of time as an excuse.

• Make different plans that are open to everyone so that more people go. Get to know the city’s cultural scene to help you make suggestions, and organize visits to the surrounding area, new restaurants, etc.

• When you have queries in class about the subject or notes, don’t hesitate to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to answer the questions posed by the teacher in class.

• If you inject a little humor into it, you’ll make it more interesting and you’ll feel less awkward.

• Without realizing, we can lapse into a mindset where we avoid situations in which we are alone with our thoughts. We can use mobile phones, music, etc. to distract ourselves. But these moments are essential for getting to know ourselves; in our relationships with others, we can’t give what we don’t have.

• Put your mobile away when you don’t need it and set aside some time to spend thinking to develop your inner self.

• Strong interpersonal relationships are built on the premise that they help others get to know themselves and be the very best they can be. Therefore, it is important to talk about intimate aspects from time to time.

• Take the initiative and regularly ask a close friend about you, aspects you could improve upon, your strengths, if there’s anything they need to tell you (something that makes them nervous or an area where you could try harder), etc.

• Take advantage of the trust generated in that conversation and then regularly talk to these people about themselves (their motivations, their failures in life, the people they admire and why, etc.). Tell them everything you want to tell them, tactfully but without fear.

• How to Beat Loneliness, Guy Winch

Note: Loneliness is harder than we imagine, but you can also emerge from it. This article explains the inner change needed to be able to engage in life again.

• How to Make Your Relationships More Resilient, Paula Davis-Laack

Note: Strong relationships undoubtedly have benefits, but how do we achieve them? This article outlines five ways to build your confidence and make sure it gets you through difficult times.

• La soledad, una nueva epidemia (Loneliness: A New Epidemic), Nuria Chinchilla

Note: This article cites several studies to address the issue of loneliness as a disease in the digital world and also how and why help is necessary for those who suffer from it.

• Elige ser amable (Decide to Be Nice), Nuria Chinchilla

Note: This article explains the importance of kindness and gentleness in social relationships and how these differ from compassion.

• The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

• What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness, Robert Waldinger TED talk.

Note: For more than 70 years, Harvard University has been following a large group of men from various backgrounds to discover what aspects of their lifestyles bring happiness. This years-long perspective has allowed them to conclude that the most important factor is close, lasting relationships that help us improve.

• Basketball, Anuncio de Guiness

• The Power of Vulnerability, Brené Brown

Note: This researcher has dedicated her life to studying vulnerability, courage and authenticity. In the talk, she presents the conclusions of her studies, that is, how we connect if we open up and how we open up if we embrace our vulnerability.

• Toy Story, John Lasseter

Note: A child’s favorite toy has an enviable group of friends and an undisputed leader. But everything goes wrong with the arrival of a brand-new toy who is unaware of the toys’ situation. It is a wonderful film about friendship and group dynamics, as well as overcoming prejudice and accepting new circumstances.

• Driving Miss Daisy, Bruce Beresford

Note: Miss Daisy is an elderly widow who finds joy in events like going to the synagogue and social gatherings, but a car accident leaves her unable to leave home without a driver. Her son hires Hoke Colburn, a black man whom Miss Daisy refuses to accept.

• The Intouchables, Olivier Nakache and Éric Toledano

Note: A French aristocrat is left paraplegic and needs to find a caregiver. Educated and not particularly spontaneous, he finds the help of a funny, friendly and reckless Senegalese man.

• The Intern, Nancy Meyers

Note: A 70-year-old man is bored with retirement and decides to join a startup to continue working. The average age at the company is 30, but the diversity of the employees makes for a strange atmosphere. The old man takes the reins and, through experience and good humor, unites the group and makes them more attentive to others.

• Welcome to the Sticks, Dany Boon

Note: A bank executive applies for a transfer to the idyllic south of the country. However, he ends up being transferred to the north, a place that is little better than hell, according to his wife and her family. When he arrives and meets the people, he realizes that it could even be better than the south. But convincing his wife won’t be easy.